This seems to be a case of 'social failure' and not 'bank failure.' As they say, keep that PIN to yourself.

Anyway, I doubt you will be able to find a good bank with all those qualities. You have to pay for them. I would recommend Standard Chartered anytime, expensive but worth the money.  Co-operative Bank is also upping it's game, may have what you want but I am not sure about the queues.

Barclays: No. Equity: No.