> Thank you for calling Safaricom
>
> customer care center. We know you have been trying to get
>
> through since last week but dont worry, at least you got
>
> through today. We also hope your phone has enough charge
>
> since this will take longer than most calls.
>
> For Kiswahili, Press 1, for
>
> English press 2. For any other language, you can get a
>
> translator.
>
>
>
> If you want to flirt with our customer
>
> care personell ... some advice ...., they dont look as good
>
> as they sound.
>
>
>
> If you think we overcharged you one the
>
> your last call, goodbye.
>
>
>
> If your scratch card number did not top
>
> up, bring us the card, the receipt, a copy of your national
>
> ID, your PIN number; and a copy of the ID of the person who
>
> sold it to you. We will give you a refund immediately if not
>
> sooner.
>
> If you were sent MPesa which you dint
>
> receive, write an essay of not less than 5000 words
>
> explaining how that is our problem. All offensive four
>
> letter words are not allowed.
>
>
>
> If your phone is having a problem, just
>
> hang up. If it went through our customer care line, it has no
>
> problem. Furthermore, we do not manufacture any phones. Even
>
> the one written safaricom is not a phone. Its just a
>
> handset!
>
> If you want to yell at us about our lousy
>
> customer service, you have to shout a little louder. They
>
> cant hear u in Cairo yet.
>
> If you feeling pissed at the length of
>
> this call, press the red button on your keypad. That does
>
> the trick.
>
> If you are Kalembe Ndile, the number for
>
> the ECK chairman is available in your local
>
> directory.
>
> If your handset is experiencing network
>
> problems, VUKA! See if we care! Or buy an external
>
> antennae.
>
> If you are Lucy, hang onto the line. A
>
> customer service representative called Wambui will attend to
>
> you shortly.
>
> If you are a Zain, Yu or Orange employee,
>
> we are not hiring at
>
> The moment so butt off.
>
> If you are Raila or Kibaki, for the
>
> umpteenth time, GO BACK TO YOUR JOB! KENYAN ARE DYING OF
>
> HUNGER!
>
> If you want to talk to Michael Joseph,
>
> you'll have to wait outside.
>
>
>
> Thank
>
> you!
>
>
>
>
>
> --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
>
>
> --
> If you notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth
> noticing