the more they stay the same... or so the saying goes. A friend just forwarded me a copy of an email received from his ISP announcing their new tariff plans: Dear Esteemed Client, Blah, blah, blah... landing of the submarine fibre cable... blah, blah, blah... Blah, blah, blah... Blah, blah, blah... Instead of limiting your access speeds, this new plan will see you enjoy the fibre experience i.e. high access speeds. High Speeds of upto 1 Mbps will allow transmission of all protocols, thus enable services like movie and music downloads, peer to peer applications, Skype and other Voice over IP service use, gaming and many others. Effective 1st September 2009 our service plans will be as follows: Pro 20GB 15,999 Classic 8GB 7,999 Eazy 4GB 4,999 Lite 2GB 3,500 Blah, blah, blah... Kind regards, John Doe General Manager ~~~ As a service to ISPs, I submit the template below that they can use to announce their new tariffs and plans. Dear Customer whom we've been @#$%ing for the last x [months|years], Thanks to the landing of the submarine fibre cable, you will now get @#$%ed much faster. Yours faithfully, Extreme @#$% Masters ~~~ gms