Alex are you negating your role as a diplomat, (Last Skunkworks meeting) On Sat, Apr 18, 2009 at 11:03 AM, Gakuru Alex <alexgakuru.lists@gmail.com>wrote:
Excellent satirical reflection of the situation most subscribers face everyday. This is so far the BEST piece I have ever read on skunkworks as opposed to those "oh my line experienced this or that" then a *high ranking* officer called me and now? life is sweet and *all* consumers now live happily ever after! Could I please have re-publishing rights?
Alex
On Sat, Apr 18, 2009 at 10:14 AM, john kihahu <kihahu@gmail.com> wrote:
Thank you for calling Safaricom
customer care center. We know you have been trying to get
through since last week but dont worry, at least you got
through today. We also hope your phone has enough charge
since this will take longer than most calls.
For Kiswahili, Press 1, for
English press 2. For any other language, you can get a
translator.
If you want to flirt with our customer
care personell ... some advice ...., they dont look as good
as they sound.
If you think we overcharged you one the
your last call, goodbye.
If your scratch card number did not top
up, bring us the card, the receipt, a copy of your national
ID, your PIN number; and a copy of the ID of the person who
sold it to you. We will give you a refund immediately if not
sooner.
If you were sent MPesa which you dint
receive, write an essay of not less than 5000 words
explaining how that is our problem. All offensive four
letter words are not allowed.
If your phone is having a problem, just
hang up. If it went through our customer care line, it has no
problem. Furthermore, we do not manufacture any phones. Even
the one written safaricom is not a phone. Its just a
handset!
If you want to yell at us about our lousy
customer service, you have to shout a little louder. They
cant hear u in Cairo yet.
If you feeling pissed at the length of
this call, press the red button on your keypad. That does
the trick.
If you are Kalembe Ndile, the number for
the ECK chairman is available in your local
directory.
If your handset is experiencing network
problems, VUKA! See if we care! Or buy an external
antennae.
If you are Lucy, hang onto the line. A
customer service representative called Wambui will attend to
you shortly.
If you are a Zain, Yu or Orange employee,
we are not hiring at
The moment so butt off.
If you are Raila or Kibaki, for the
umpteenth time, GO BACK TO YOUR JOB! KENYAN ARE DYING OF
HUNGER!
If you want to talk to Michael Joseph,
you'll have to wait outside.
Thank
you!
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