On Fri, Aug 28, 2009 at 2:13 AM, Glenn Sequeira <gsequeira@gmail.com> wrote:

the more they stay the same... or so the saying goes.

A friend just forwarded me a copy of an email received from his ISP
announcing their new tariff plans:

Dear Esteemed Client,

Blah, blah, blah... landing of the submarine fibre cable... blah, blah, blah...

Blah, blah, blah...

Blah, blah, blah...  Instead of limiting your access speeds, this new
plan will see you enjoy the fibre experience i.e. high access speeds.
High Speeds of upto 1 Mbps will allow transmission of all protocols,
thus enable services like movie and music downloads, peer to peer
applications, Skype and other Voice over IP service use, gaming and
many others.

Effective 1st September 2009 our service plans will be as follows:

Pro    20GB    15,999
Classic    8GB    7,999
Eazy    4GB  4,999
Lite    2GB    3,500

Blah, blah, blah...

Kind regards,

John Doe
General Manager

~~~

As a service to ISPs, I submit the template below that they can use to
announce their new tariffs and plans.

Dear Customer whom we've been @#$%ing for the last x [months|years],

Thanks to the landing of the submarine fibre cable, you will now get
@#$%ed much faster.

Yours faithfully,

Extreme @#$% Masters

~~~

gms
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